Overview: Join me on the latest episode of "Bob and Me: A Tale of Imposter Syndrome" as we dive into the mess of self-doubt and confront the nagging voice inside our heads. We'll explore the gross nature of imposter syndrome and how it manifests as our ego, or in my case, Bob. Through my story and experience, I'll share the strategies I use to combat this confidence thief and emerge stronger on the other side.
Highlights:
Introduction to Imposter Syndrome: We'll kick things off by defining imposter syndrome and its impact on our lives, exploring how it manifests as that nagging voice of doubt.
Personal Experience with Bob: I'll share my recent encounter with Bob, my ego, as he tried to sabotage my confidence and derail my progress.
Confronting Self-Doubt: We'll discuss the importance of questioning our inner critic and examining the validity of its claims, drawing on my own journey of self-reflection.
Taking a Step Back: Learn the power of stepping away from the noise and giving yourself space to breathe, reflect, and gain perspective amidst the chaos of imposter syndrome.
Making the Decision: Discover the transformative power of making a conscious decision to reject self-doubt and embrace confidence, drawing inspiration from personal anecdotes and real-life examples.
Empowerment and Encouragement: We'll wrap up with a reminder of the inherent greatness within each of us and the importance of supporting one another on our journeys to overcome imposter syndrome.
Overview: Join me on the latest episode of "Bob and Me: A Tale of Imposter Syndrome" as we dive into the mess of self-doubt and confront the nagging voice inside our heads. We'll explore the gross nature of imposter syndrome and how it manifests as our ego, or in my case, Bob. Through my story and experience, I'll share the strategies I use to combat this confidence thief and emerge stronger on the other side.
Highlights:
Introduction to Imposter Syndrome: We'll kick things off by defining imposter syndrome and its impact on our lives, exploring how it manifests as that nagging voice of doubt.
Personal Experience with Bob: I'll share my recent encounter with Bob, my ego, as he tried to sabotage my confidence and derail my progress.
Confronting Self-Doubt: We'll discuss the importance of questioning our inner critic and examining the validity of its claims, drawing on my own journey of self-reflection.
Taking a Step Back: Learn the power of stepping away from the noise and giving yourself space to breathe, reflect, and gain perspective amidst the chaos of imposter syndrome.
Making the Decision: Discover the transformative power of making a conscious decision to reject self-doubt and embrace confidence, drawing inspiration from personal anecdotes and real-life examples.
Empowerment and Encouragement: We'll wrap up with a reminder of the inherent greatness within each of us and the importance of supporting one another on our journeys to overcome imposter syndrome.
Welcome to Not Made To Be Subtle where we celebrate the art of embracing fear, pushing boundaries and making a statement in a world that often expects us to be subtle. I'm your host, Caytie Langford. I'm a full time real estate investor, but along the way I was a nonprofit fundraiser turned executive coach. I once stood at the intersection of This is everything that I've ever wanted. And is this really it? I've learned so much along the way. And now this podcast will be your go to destination for candid discussions with me and with other bad ass women who dared to ask the same, is this it? And decided to chase after more. Stay tuned for riveting stories. unfiltered conversations and actionable advice that will move you from where you are to where you want to go. Welcome to not made to be subtle because you, my dear, you were never made to be subtle.
Caytie:
Welcome back, lady. I am so glad that you are here today. we're going to be confronting something that I know impacts me. And I bet once or twice in your life it has impacted you. That's right. Today we're going to be talking about that nagging voice inside our head. You know, the one that says, You can't possibly do this. The one that laughs at us and says, who are you to think that you're worthy enough to make this actually happen? Yep. The one that continues to say, when we do something big and scary, when we put ourselves in new places. When we've earned the spot to be there that still wants to stop us dead in our tracks and say Somebody is going to find out that you are not meant to be here today. We are talking about imposter syndrome We're talking about That ego of yours that stops you from going after what you want Some people may refer to it as their gremlin. I actually call my ego Bob I decided to name him and yeah, I don't know why my ego is a man But it is that's kind of funny and probably something I should talk to my therapist about anywho I call my ego Bob. No matter what it is that you call yours, we all have a voice inside of us that tends to want to keep us small. So, I want to tell you about my recent experience of Bob popping right on up saying, Caytie you can't do this. As you know, I'm always constantly telling you to put yourself into bigger rooms. To put yourself into positions where you can learn from other people. I don't care if it's going out getting a mentor, if it's getting a coach, if it's finding colleagues that you're getting in the room with to share information and best practices on how to grow your life and your career. The point is that you've got to put yourself. Surrounded by people who've already been there and have done that, that they are one to three steps ahead of you because those people are going to be the people that are going to help you get where you want to go. Of course, a year ago when Shane Langford decided to go into real estate investing, What's the first thing he did? He joined a mentorship. And when I jumped into real estate investing just a couple of months later, I decided that I would not only be part of that mentorship, but I would go and find another one that really tackled what it is that I wanted to do. Every single week I am in this group of amazing humans that are doing such cool, badass stuff in real estate. And today was one of those days. Today I was inside the Zoom. I was so fired up about just what's been happening in life, right? We've made this big move. We're staying at another new Airbnb that we'll be at. My goodness, there's a golf course out here and we see deer all the freaking time. I am living my best life. And that was the energy that I showed up to this Zoom call this morning. One of the things that I love so much about my mentor, Amy, is that she always wants us to celebrate our wins and milestones. And again, if you've been around me for any length of time, you know that I want you to celebrate your wins and I want to be someone who's in your circle that celebrates with you. Too many of us as women, we diminish our wins. We don't celebrate them. Heck, I did one of my very first podcast episodes simply about celebrating. So here we were on this call and she asked for people to celebrate their wins and milestones. Just share them y'all as all of these wonderful people started sharing what they are doing. Bob went crazy. I mean, the dings that were going off in my head were awful. They were so loud. Bob was saying, Caytie, you are so behind. What is wrong with you? He kept shouting at me. Oh my gosh. You're not even close to where these people are. And then Bob started telling me about this goal that I'm working towards, this new thing that I am building. Bob started saying, who the hell do you think you are that you can actually pull this off? So I started to think maybe you also have this challenge. Maybe your Bob does this as well. Impostor syndrome is nothing new to me. I climbed the corporate ladder very quickly from entry level to manager to mid level management all the way to senior leadership and executive leadership all within 13 years. By the time I was 34, I was an executive. Believe me, there were definitely times when I would walk around the office and I would constantly think somebody is going to figure out that I'm not the right person. Someone is going to find out that I really shouldn't be here. it was almost nine years ago that I walked away from that. And in the past nine years I have done so many things. I went and got my coaching certification. I started a new business from scratch, having never wanted to be an entrepreneur. Then I grew my coaching business. I did a TEDx talk. I spoke for all kinds of organizations and companies. Then I launched another company to really grow my brand and my presence when it came to personal and professional development for women. Then when that changed, I pivoted again and I got into real estate investing. So I've done a lot of big things over the last nine years. Even just setting aside my first career. I've done a lot of scary things. There have been a lot of times where I've had to say Bob shut the hell, but here I was again with Bob shouting. And I'm not ready to tell you exactly what I'm working on, but I'm telling you that it is so exciting. It really feels like the culmination of the last 20 years of my life and my career and I I am pumped. But there I was thinking, Oh my goodness. Maybe I can't do this. Maybe I'm not the person that I thought I was. Maybe, what I think I'm capable of, isn't actually true. And so, I did a couple of things. And by doing these few things, I've been able to shift my mindset back to where I need to be. And that's what I want to share with you today. I have three things that I do when my imposter syndrome kicks in. When Bob starts going crazy, yelling at me, thinking that he's in charge. And so I wanted to give you those three things. Now, they're just three things, it's pretty simple, really, when we boil it down and I share what these three things with you are. But these are the three things that when I am in a place where I'm questioning, if I step back and do these three things, I typically can make a pretty quick and easy shift. Now, I will also say that I've been working Consistently on my mindset for probably 15 years. So if you are new to mindset, if you are new to personal and professional development and you're not exactly there, it might take you a little longer. It might not be something that you can flip around in an hour or less. It might be something that takes a week or a month or a year, but no matter how long it takes you, the point is. When your ego stops you dead in your tracks, when your imposter syndrome kicks in, the important thing, the critical thing is that you got to stop and you got to put some work into it. Otherwise, if we let our ego take over, if we let our imposter syndrome take over, Nothing is going to change. We will be no closer to our goals. We will be no closer to accomplishing the things that we want to. We will be no closer to living the life that we want to. So, now I bet you're on the edge of your seat waiting for these three things. I tell you what, this is a speaking technique that I got from John Maxwell. He obviously is like, One of the best of the best, and it is to get people excited and primed about the things that you're going to talk about. So let's get into it. These are the three things that I do when Bob kicks in and I want to say, hold on. I'm Caytie Langford and I'm taking back over. The first thing I do when my imposter syndrome kicks in is I begin to question it. That's right. Sounds so simple and yet I've coached over 300 individual women. We don't typically do this, right? We don't question it. So the first thing is, you want to stop and you want to question it. You really want to say to yourself, Is this true? Is this something that I believe? Is this something that I want to do? So let's take, for example, you want to start a business and your ego starts saying, Sally, you cannot start a business. Who the heck are you to think? Well, start questioning it, Sally. Get back to, do I actually believe? that my ego is right? Do I believe that I can't do it? Do I want to believe that? See, sometimes when we look at our limiting beliefs, it's not necessarily whether it's true or false, because let's face it, sometimes we can be like, oh no, I really can't do it. But it's, do I want to believe that? My friend Jillian Murphy, who is a sales coach extraordinaire, she's such a badass, she talks about Be Her Now. And I love this concept about being who you want to be right now. So If you want to start a business and your ego is telling you that you're not, start questioning, well, can I be her now? Can I do this now? Can I become that person? Do I want to be the person that stops myself from going after this dream because I'm questioning? Just take a minute and question it. Get out a piece of paper, get out your journal, get out your remarkable and write some things down. Ask yourself, is it true? Do I want it to be true? Sometimes just doing that is enough to say, Ego, you're not winning this one. I'm taking back over. So that is the first thing I do, is I question it. And that's exactly what I did this today. I started questioning. And not only did I question, but I specifically went back to my why. Why is it that I'm doing This thing, why am I going down the road? Why am I investing time and energy and a lot of money to figure out and to build this thing? And y'all, I can't wait to be able to share it with you. So sometimes we just gotta question it. And when I questioned it and I return to my why, and I wrote down, here's why I wanna do this, here's why I think that I can do it. Here's what I know about myself, that when I don't know the answers, I will find them. I will find the right people. The resources will appear. So question it. Number two, when your ego is getting out of control, I want you to to set whatever it is that you're doing. I want you to set it down today for me that meant taking a walk. I got off the zoom. I was like, oh my gosh, I can't do this. I'm so crazy Who am I right? I'm like doing all the things And I thought, okay, I can keep working and keep thinking about this or I can put on my tennis shoes. I can open the door and I can go for a walk. I can set this down for a minute. I can take a break. I can put some time and some space in between my ego telling me that I can't and me actually facing it. So today it was a walk. Sometimes it means. Pulling out a book, reading a story, reading a novel, sometimes just going into someone else's world helps me to kind of unfunkify myself. If that's a word, I just made that up. Unfunkify myself. Um, sometimes when I dive into somebody else's story, it will give me the opportunity to get some of that clarity and vision and to just get away from it for a minute. I like to spend time with my friends and my family. You know, I just want to give it some distance. Another way you can give it a distance is go and actually help someone else. When we help somebody else, our challenges, our problems tend to shift. Our mindset just tends to look at it a little differently. So, You're Sally and you want to start a business and you're sitting there and you're in the room and you're hearing about all these other people's businesses and you're writing out your business plan and you're talking to potential partners and then your ego just starts screaming so loud at you. Set it down. Give it some time. Just give it some time. Once I got back from that walk I was a Totally different human. It was only 30 minutes. It was not a long walk In this our Airbnb that Shane and I are in there's lots of hills So here we are going up all these hills and I can't breathe and the whole thing Which hopefully by the end of our stay here, I will be I'm a rock star walking up these hills, but once I gave myself a little bit of distance and a little bit of time to talk about something else, to think about something else, to experience the view and say hello to the deer and look at the lake and just have a moment without constantly thinking about Bob shouting at me. It went away. I came back with a new sense of clarity, a new sense of calm, and I was able to dive right back into the work that I needed to do that's going along with setting up what I'm trying to build. So number one, question it. Number two, set it down. Number three. This is a big one, and I want you to take a minute. Number three is you just decide. That's right. You make the decision. I was recently watching a Zoom, and they talked about what the word decision means, and what the root is, and I'm probably going to mess a little bit of this up, but it basically means to cut off. So when we cut off, we make a decision, we're cutting off from all other decisions. Sometimes the way that we quiet our ego is we just say, Hey Bob, cool, thanks for trying to protect me, but I have made the decision that I am going to go for this. I have made the decision that even if you shout at me, even if you whisper at me, even if you come back nagging tomorrow, I've made the decision. That I'm going to do this, that I'm going to take the steps and I'm going to get out of my own way. Now, for me, this was a big aha. I remember being Chief Development Officer, which was my last fundraising job before I completely left non profits and fundraising. And, I was, listen, I was young, I was 34 years old and I had this fabulous wardrobe and I wore these tall heels all the time. And I remember walking through the office, and I worked mostly with women, I remember walking through the office and one of the women that I worked with said, oh yeah, um, people refer to you as the, the lady from Scandal. Oh my gosh, I can't even think of her name right now. Olivia Pope. That's what it is. Olivia Pope. They're like, yeah, they call you Olivia Pope behind your back. And I was like, what? What? Like, what does that even mean? I'd never seen the show. Still haven't. Although I've heard it's fabulous. And I highly recommend reading Shonda Rhimes book. Um, say yes. It's so good. Anywho, I digress. They said, oh yeah, they think that you're Olivia Pope because you walk through the office with such confidence with such direction of where you're going to go and what's crazy about that is that is not what was happening. I was crying in that corner office every freaking single day. Now part of me was saying. Oh my goodness, I can't do this. And the other part of me was saying, Oh my goodness, this is supposed to be my dream job and I hate it. So I had a lot going on in my mind, but once I found out, and this is kind of weird, but once I found out that that's how people saw me, I made the decision that that's how I was going to show up. That I was going to show up as the confident woman that everyone believed that I was. They believed it. Why the heck wouldn't I? So sometimes it's just about deciding. It's about, you know, drawing the line in the sand and saying, This is it. This is what I'm going to do. So, I hope that these three things have helped you. And I just want to go over them one more time. When your ego gets in the way, when your imposter syndrome peaks its nasty head up and whether it roars or it whispers, I want you to one, question it. Number two, I want you to set it aside. Whatever it is, give yourself time. Just set it down. And number three, I want you to just. Be able to make the decision. You have my permission. You don't need my permission, but if you feel like you want permission from somebody, I'm telling you, you have permission to just decide to say, ego, stop talking to me that way. I am in charge. I appreciate that you're trying to keep me safe, but I'm going to go do this big, bad, bold, amazing thing. I've told you this before, and I'm going to tell you this again, as many times. There is only one you, and because there is only one you, the one and only you is destined for greatness. I don't know what your greatness looks like, but I promise, whatever is in front of you, wherever life is taking you, it is meant to be great. So the next time that your imposter syndrome creeps up, Take control, say no, and get back on it. If this helps you, I would love for you to just share this with one other woman. I know that you've probably talked to your friends or your colleagues and said, Oh my gosh, I didn't think I could do it. Let this be a reminder to another badass woman that not only can you do it, but she can do it too. Thanks for tuning in to Not Made To Be Subtle. Will you do me a favor? Will you rate and review and subscribe? This helps more women like you find our podcast. Remember, life's journey is rarely straightforward, but it's the twists and the turns that make it worth living. Embrace the uncertainty, make bold decisions, and never underestimate your power to create the life that you envision. Stay tuned for more episodes packed with insights, inspiration, and a touch of badass boldness.